Our dressing, composure, mannerisms, body-language and the way we carry ourselves are quick indices of the image in others’ views. Whenever I see people who dress gaudy, who overdo something to gain the immediate attention of everyone around, who paint themselves with creams and lotions to showcase a false glow; I remember few people in my life.
A professor of Mathematics in my college, a person who is known through all the prestigious institutions in India, is the first in line I’d like to quote. He wears a Kutha and Dhothi, bathroom-chappals and an old pair of spectacles. If he is not carrying his identification, I’m very sure he’ll not be allowed to trespass even the gates of any of the National and International Conferences he attends. Behind the gray-haired unmarried-person in his late fifties with a long-beard who demands for every single pie for each minute of his lectures, no one will ever notice the disciplined and self-less person who contributes majority of his earnings to charity. He doesn’t refer any of his students to industry giants like TI, Intel,
The second person is a lady faculty in my college, a graduate in Mathematics, who was hardly five years elder to us. The dark-complexioned lady used to wear dazzling Saris, low-back blouse and simple jewelry. She speaks fair English, and more than the language, she communicates the meaning with her benevolent eyes and glittering smiles. She would look like Sushmitha Sen in ‘Main Hoon Na’, if watched with dark sun-glasses. Though she was quite composed and carried herself very well, there were people who hated for her color and there were people who used to appreciate her friendly nature as well. And there were people who used to throw weird comments on her. There were a few who tried their best to approach her for their wicked intentions, but failed every time. Though she never entertained any one, she gave ample chance for everyone to comment her. She was trying to overcome the setback of her complexion with her dressing and body-language; she forgot that they are provocations in the senses of any average person in a semi-urban Indian society.
The third person is a classmate of mine, who used to dress-up in trousers and tops, most of the time. She was very frigid, and as uncomfortable with most of the other girls in the class as they were with her. I always thought that she was suffering either from some neurological-disorder or a serious mental-depression. She wore short-shirts and always used to pull her shirt down her waist. One day in our classroom, we overheard her mentioning to the new shirt she is wearing was picked with great interest. And as always it was short and she was pulling it, to hide her waist-line. When you are not comfortable with what you are wearing and how it looks on you, why wear it at the first place; and that too with choice? And when you’ve bought an outfit knowing its dimensions and your appearance in it, why bother the poking eyes?
The next is a classmate of mine. Once on a college-tour, I was enjoying the beach. A common friend of our group headed straight to me asked for my shirt, when she found her trousers torn while in the water. I don’t know if it was because there was no one else in the reach who could understand her problem without being told, or because she felt that I’m one who will help her without any question; I took-off my shirt and gave it to her. She wore it and simply walked away. There were people who thought I was playing cheap tricks in front of all the females and there are people who were disgusted with exposure of lean and shapeless body. Later when she returned the shirt with a thankful smile, there was just silence. Had she dressed herself in something that was apt for a beach, she wouldn't have faced such awkward situation.
The last person I’d like to quote is a close friend of mine. One day in the college, a complaint was lodged on a couple of guys who have commented a girl. That day while we were waiting in the bus-stop, my friend told that those guys should be punished for what they’ve done. We boarded the bus with two of her roomies and in no time she was crushing her teeth at a girl, a stranger in the bus, who was wearing a skin-tight dress, and whom few guys were ogling at. She commented that the girl is the reason for trouble and she should learn how to dress decently. One of my friend’s roomies was wearing a low-neck chudidar, with the dupatta struck to her neck and there were a group of guys who were more than ogling at her. When I mentioned it to my friend, she waived-off my words saying “….don’t be jealous….she is a beauty and they are admiring her beauty…and moreover dupatta is part of dress and not a wrapper to cover anything”. For next few minutes while I was trying to understand her views towards different people probably in the same situation, she complained about a guy at our back “he is giving a hungry-stare. He should be thrown out of the bus. Why don’t you find out what his problem is and warn him not to look at me..?”
I was dumb-fold at four different views about four people who are all in the same situation, the only difference being who they are to her. While the first person was someone whom she knows in the college, the guys were to be punished. As the second person was a total stranger, she doesn’t know how to dress decently. The third being her roommate and close friend is perfect and not to be blamed. And as the guys were handsome and charming, their appreciation was appreciated. And finally when it comes to her and as the guy was crude and shabby, he should be kicked out of the bus.
When you dress-up in an outfit knowing very well that it is revealing and that it certainly attracts attention of everyone, you shouldn’t be cursing if the attention is unpleasant. When your dress is sure to attract anyone who passes by, you shouldn’t crib if it attracts any trouble. You should be wise to learn from the experiences, or you should experience the effects of your actions.
They say “While in Rome be Roman”. Some people infer this statement as ‘change yourself as per the situations’ while some other interpret it as ‘shed thy soul and jump into the new world’.
I somehow feel both are partially correct and also incorrect in their own sense.
While one is in a new place or under new conditions he has to understand and align to them. One has to mend himself to make a better person, as well as he should prefer and preserve his identity. While trying to catch-up with the pace of the generation, one has to be cautious in choosing what suits him the best.
There was a batch mate of mine who often said “If you change a bit, you are not yourself”. When I added - “If you can’t bring-in a change you wanted, you can never be yourself”, he agreed to what I said. While you have to change the auxiliary habits and routine, you’ve to preserve the core values which identify you in crowds of hundreds and thousands.
