A Fish in Hell

I opened my eyes in water, to see light that was also dancing along with waves.
Natural instincts guided me to swim across all the similar looking fish, towards the light.

I noticed a fish which was swimming towards me. Though it was a red-fish like many others, it was agressively swimming. Being afraid, I lost control and bumped so hard into a glass wall, that my eyes whirled for a while. Quickly I gained strength and swam opposite way only to find that the same fish was coming towards me yet again.

After bumping into a glass, yet another time, I realized that this fish was doing exactly opposit to what I did. It would turn to left, if I turned to my right. I have a black-spot on the right of my tail and it had one on its left. But if I swim up, it also swims up. And it will also swim downwards, if I do so. I was getting tired of this mysterious fish, whom I can see, but cannot reach.

After a while, a black-fish approached me. Laughing at me, he told that I'm looking at my own image. He advised me not to run away from it, nor to try discovering it.
Image.....! What a wonder!
It's there, but it is not.It's myself, but it is not.


There were many aquariums of various sizes with fish of different color, shape and size. Our aquarum was in one corner of the shop. Among a hudred of my kind, I'm the only red-fish with a black spot on my tail. Our aquarium also contained gold-spot and black-fish. It was the most crowded in the entire shop. One end of our neighbourhood had blue-hay, royal-white and dragon-yellow. The other end of shop had black-and-white, silver-majestic, mini-shark, king-snail and turtles.


The shop-keeper gives only a little feed, to keep us small and in good shape with the excersize of fighiting for the feed. He lits only one of the three lamps in the shop and everytime lits a different one.

On our third day, we were already done with observing all corners of shop, other kinds of fish, the tired shop-keeper and never-tiring ceiling-fan.We named our aquarium 'Hell'.


Every time a bike stops in front of the shop, the shop-keeper nets few of us and packs them in a plastic-cover. He doesn't show a pinch of love to us, atleast while selling, than that he shows to the money he gets.


Once there were a couple of kids - a small mischevous girl and a boy with chubby cheeks. I was swimming under the artificial plantation, and the shop-keeper caught ten fish from Hell into a plastic cover. The girl bounced the packet into air, and as it landed on a nail, it burst to spray the fish into all corners of the shop. Two fish which lost their breath, were fed to the Giant fish.Others were saved with minor bruises and packed into another plastic-cover. I mourned for my dead friends; and for those who are dead any moment the girl goes wild.


The next time a rookie came in a bike, along with his girl-friend. As the shop-keeper started netting Hell, I recollected they were the same couple who've forgot the package of blue-fish, a week ago. I doubted wether they'll ever bother about the 'Hell' in their home. I've escaped the net and felt satisfied that I've escaped a mishap. I was surprized to find myself prefer Hell over their home.


The next day, a couple came with a small baby in lap. The mother was so caring not to allow a fly to land on her baby. And the father was looking equally caring. As the shop-keeper put the net into Hell, I rushed into it but he never traps. Twice when I was finally in the trap, he tossed me back to Hell. Finally some black-fish, few blue-hay and gold-spot were packed for them. I felt bad for missing such family, but they were not there in my fate.


In a corner of the Hell, I was brooding over the future I've missed in the house of such soft people. I realized that I was being pulled out of 'Hell', and packed into a plastic-cover. It was already too late for me to resist. A group of boys were interestingly looking at four of my kind in the package. One of them carefully carried the package to his bike.


The first view of road from a bike was exquisite. The ride on a bike was very thirlling. Hiking the steps, bouncing into the air and rolling on the floor from inside the package were nice experiences.


Our package was opened to pour us into an aquarium already hosting fifteen fish of seven different kind. For few days we were freshers and were dominated by those who were already there. Weeks later we were also officially crowned the citizenship of our aquarium, 'Home'.


One of the boys used to feed us twice a day. And every one who takes a moment to look into Home tosses few pellettes of feed. There used to be change in feed every month. And along with it, change of water after cleaning the Home.


As days went by, the boys grew up. They moved out and new boys started moving in. Also, the fish in Home had their time. Those fish who passwed away initially were given royal saluit on their final voyage. Those following them later, hardly recieved any such respects. Only one couple bred, and even their babies are dead. Now i'm the only fish in the tank.


One of the boys used to clean the tank on every weekend and fill it with fresh water. Now he hardly cleans it once a couple-of-months and rarely refills the evaporated water. As Home is becoming green with algae, he put a couple of snails.


I've grown about hundred times, than what I was on first day in Home. The snails too have grown old. They are not of my kind, but we are the only company around. Having nothing to do, nowhere to go, we three wander the shallow waters of Home...


Even now one boy feeds me twice a day. He loves me so much, that talks to me when he is alone. He pities me for being so lonely, like him. It is almost a month that I've seen him. May be he too moved out of their home.


Sometimes, I wish, I could have resisted from getting into that packet. My life could have been different, from this Home. Or, it might have been the same.............. in yet another 'Home'.


But, I cannot reverse the irreversible. Whatever is done, cannot be undone.
I have to live with it for rest of my life.


I'm a fish in a tank..................a lonely fish in the little tank.

I'm a Tide

I am born somewhere in the deep sea

with a heart full of fantasy

In search of the dreamland, with all my companions,

around all the days and nights,

on full-moon and going calm otherwise...

I'm exposed to Sun and Wind,

…..open to dust and dead-wings

…..twisted in whirlpools and drenched by rain

…..tilted with paddles of boats

…..frozen in winter and warmed in summer

…..I have in me, tears of little foe Solomon

…..and loads of Ocean mom's hope

Colorful birds are a piece of joy

…..broken ships and deserted shafts are my rest-houses

…..very afraid if thunderstorms and violent winds, I'm helpless at breaking yachts and drowning fishermen

…..witnessing the cracking vessels and crying men

Facing all the ups and downs, I'm finally at my destiny

…..lying down on the land, I feel the hard crust

…..and hear the shallow waters in the hollow shells

…..amazing at flying blades of ocean grass, and dancing crabs along the damp shore,

…..elated by my victory, relaxed a moment, not noticing my departing friends.

When I opened my eyes, found myself running amidst all my new companions, deep in the sea…..

Race is on, once again,

…..towards a new landscape…..

And that’s what is 'LIFE'…..

Ecstasy

Everyone has a definition of ecstasy. Some are common for anyone and some are lovable to many……a list of them follow here

After an hour of hold-on, when you pee in open-air…….

After working 9-to-9 in office, when you shed the formals and shoes to change into shorts…….

After a full-day under hot-Sun, when you get drenched in rain till you catch cold……

After an hour of travel in clouding-smoke and roaring-traffic, when you have a bath and get soaked in music.......

After hours of struggle, when you see the result of hard-work….

When you tug yourself under the arms of a friend with whom you exchange the feel of belonging, support and pride….

And above all these, when you mention hunger at home…..when dad hurries mom to arrange food within no time, while he gets you some water and comforts you with words….and when mom rushes to you with home-made food….and when you swallow the ecstasy of the food enriched with loads of their love….

Rich is the person who has the wisdom - "Life is not achieving big things, but living-up every thing small or big...."

Life of a Caterpillar

Life is very complex.

Nothing is same with no one else. Even with the same person, it is never ever the same.

When a caterpillar metamorphoses into a butterfly it expends the enormous amount if energy it accumulated while eating for days-together to rejuvenate itself for a tomorrow with different set of fun; and challenges as well. It appears as if the moths just sleep, but imagine the magnitude of its brain-activity and the complexity of process happening to distress/detoxify themselves.

There is a caterpillar which weaved itself into a cocoon. Three branched up there is a crow which royally shits sitting at the edge of its nest. Unfortunate caterpillar’s cocoon gets drenched. It has only two options – speed up metamorphosis while the cocoon gets rotten and the acid melts its wings (or) spend a little energy in building an inner lining to safeguard itself. In either case, some of its energy is lost and it will never be able to be the butterfly it had to be. Far up the same tree is an eagle which shits royally sitting at the edge of its nest which would fall into the crow’s nest if there were no wind.

There is no point in the crow cribbing that her eggs are getting `faded-up with eagle droppings. The crow which feels bad just because shells of her eggs are getting discolored while the chicken will no way be affected, does it have the slightest idea of what is happening inside the cocoon? While all this is happening, on the same branch bearing crow’s nest is an ant carrying a small piece of left-out to its burrow. The crow starts winding its wings to blow the eggs clean. In this spurt of wind the ant struggles hard to grip the branch while clinging to its food.

Who is the culprit & who is the scapegoat?

Could the situation be different, if not better, had the birds put a little effort in flying a little distance for shitting…..?

If it is a caterpillar in its cocoon, the action affect only one and result in either a dead-caterpillar or a limp-butterfly. Otherwise in case of a bat or a honey-bee, no matter whatever happens to one, it disturbs & disrupts the routine of all its’ companions.

It is quite imPOSSIBLE for various species to learn the likes and life-styles of other inhabitants of the tree and live accordingly. But it is quite POSSIBLE to have harmony in the habitat, with a little effort from everyone.

Humans are no exception for analogous situations.

Let us take a similar instance when the members are physically immobile and situational interlocked. When four people are dining, one of them gets a call from his father about an important issue, which all of them are aware of. He can’t finish the dinner half-way nor can he end the call. While the person handling the remote-control doesn’t feel like reducing the volume, he gets a call from one of his friends to plan for the weekend shopping. A third person takes over the remote-control and now the second signs him to mute the television. When the volume is reduced, he insists on muting the television. The fourth is not having the remote-control and is quite helpless. He can’t eat happily, nor can he tolerate the situation.

These four people are in the same situation as the caterpillar, the crow, the eagle and the ant respectively.

I always have a shallow sleep, and take a little time to wake-up with unpleasant noises. There are numerous instances when I cursed the restless people continuously ringing the calling-bell on our door, while I was asleep till I could wake-up and open the door.

On a recent evening I happened to ring the door-bell continuously for 15 seconds, just for making some fun. I felt very sorry when I learnt that I’ve disrupted the deep-sleep of one of my roomies who was tired of a long-journey followed by a strenuous day at work.

There are many instances in my room alone that I’m yet to learn so much of math to count how many have I encountered through out my life. In few of them rest of the cast in drama felt that I was playing a Saint, calmly bearing with everything and in few others they felt that I was playing Rambo, revenging for what he undergone. People keep debating on ‘Gandhigiri’ and ‘Goondagiri’, but I believe in none. If the reason behind the agitation is communicated, it solves the problem.

It is in our actions and attitude whether we allow the cocoon to raise a healthy butterfly or not. If I could make you THINK of at the least one instance in which you could do better, my purpose of writing all this is served.

Thanks to that roomie of mine who awoke two of us at 5:30 today morning with the crackling sounds of water in the toilet, the door to which he left open. Had I not woke up today I wouldn’t ever have voiced these thoughts.

I'm Confused

Life is becoming increasingly monotonous and boring.
I've tried mingling with friends and family, but everyone has their own business and is not available round the clock.
I've tried movies, but not everything is pleasing.
I've tried hobbies, but none of them is going-on at this moment.
I've lost interest in traveling and girls.
I'm tired of dreaming anything and everything that remains forever as a dream.

Increasing time at office, with no added result has become common.
They think that I don't have a personal life, may be because their superiors think the same way about them.

I feel like shedding-off all the gadgets and getting drenched in the rain, but it hardly rains.
I feel like wearing shorts and playing on the roads with all the kids, but even they are locked-up in the schools.
I feel like getting started with something that will consume me all together, but never do I start anything like that.

People say that I'm fed up with the routine of life and that I should get married soon.
When I'm so unhappy with myself, how can I welcome someone into this confusing life?
I need some more time, but not sure how much.

I'm so much confused of myself that I cant even laugh at myself being so unsure of myself.
Everyone is trying to help me out, but only I'm unsure of what am I struck in.