One day morning while reading the news-paper, I found a pamphlet enclosed. It read "Homeopathy treatment for following ailments...", which included hair-loss. It read in bold-red "Free consultation".
All the bald-aspirants in my room exchanged a glance with each-other. I was obviously interested, provided that it was free and had I had an assurance from the doctor that my hair-fall is curable, I was ready to take the treatment, how much ever it costs.
I called the number on it, and the receptionist lady told that the senior doctor is available. I asked her if the consultation is free or do we have to pay anything. She said "it is free. You don't need to pay anything. You can come anytime from 10:00 to 6:00".
I know for sure that no one does anything for nothing. But after I got the confirmation from her, I was expecting to see a rich role-model doctor who charges only for the medication, but not for the service. I was excited to meet a character, whom I've never come across, except in story-books and novels.
It was already 10:30, and I went there in an hour, with a friend of mine.
The clinic was in a costly locality and it was air-conditioned. We filled-up the appointment forms. In less than fifteen minutes, we were ushered into a room.
I shook hands with the doc, and though his hand felt like a gambler, as per the first rule of psychology, I dint judge him. I gave him a big smile and sat in the patient's chair.
He asked me what my complaints were (which, I've already mentioned on my registration-form). Thinking that he was asking for more detail, I gave him enough details of my hair and its loss, including my habits and diet. He asked if I had any tensions or do I think much. I told him that I'm much worried of the two books which I'm longing to write one of which is 'My way, Your way and The Correct way'.
After hearing to the complaints of me and my friend, he assured that our hair-loss can be cured and told us to wait outside. I took his mail-id and told that I'll mail him a couple of my articles. I dint ask his name, as it’ll be in the e-mail-id and even if it doesn’t, it isn’t going to matter anyway.
In another ten minutes we were called into the office of a lady, who dint appear like a doctor, at all, in any sense.
My first instinct was to ask her if she is a registered medical-practitioner, but the manners I was taught to learn and practice over years stopped me.
The first question she asked was "have u been taking any medicines". When I told her that I dint take any, she asked "why not....?” with an exclamation.
I found it very funny and with a smile, replied "I dint find any necessity for using any medication... in the last 8 months the only time I took any medication was one Paracetemol, for fever, the last week". She posed the same question to my friend, and when he gave his answers, she started explaining us the contents of a tablet/capsule - the medicine, the flavoring-agent, the coloring-agent and the substrate.
For each of the points she was referring to the computer-screen on the table, facing her. When it was quite evident that she was simply trying to explain something which is running on the screen, I've mentally prepared myself to expect nothing from her than a check for bills. She explained the way Homeopathy works; and finally she was at the core of her presentation - 'THE PACKAGES'!
She told about monthly, half-yearly and annual packages, with a special 10% discount on each, only for the day. She said to me, “the doctor suggested you to take 1 year course, at the least”.
When we told her that we'll decide on which package to take, she told that we'll have to pay a consultation-fee of Rs.200/-
When I mentioned to her about the free-consultation they've printed on the pamphlets and the confirmation I got from the receptionist who attended the call, she said "that is only for people who come from free-camps and clinics. If u get this receipt, I'll deduct the amount from your medical-bill...". While I clearly remember that there was no such mention on the pamphlet, I dint take it out from my pocket. Though I was still looking at her eyes, she was gazing somewhere else, with a look of 'I'm caught'.
I could have argued that nothing of this sort was told to her in the first place, and I could have left the clinic without paying a penny.
But I cursed myself for believing some unseen voice on phone and trusting some stupid piece-of-paper.
Knowing very-well that the person who receives my payment will never get its worth, I took out some bills and paid for us.
After so many years of knowing me, on our way back to home, my friend couldn't resist asking why I’ve paid the amount.
I could tell him in one word, the final line of clinic's argument - "we don't charge for consultation .......... only if u take the medicine".
I could tell him in one word, the final line of my argument - "then why the fucking-hell dint you print it on the paper or tell it on phone....?"
I told him that it was the consumer's greed falling for a "FREE" add and an entrepreneur's marketing-tactic of en-cashing it.
We walked the roads chit-chatting.....-”whether the doctor practices medicine or not can be known only if we take the course of medicine, but am sure he had digested the hospitality and management….. Is it marketing their morals for money or en-cashing on someone's mental-weakness?” Interestingly my friend, a timid and calm fellow was also speaking his mind.
We both laughed aloud on the road, knowing that both of us dint want to disturb our moods, anymore.
If I ever publish my book, I’ll send a copy to the clinic – FREE OF COST.
